Countless Shades of Blue

Cozed in my space coated
With countless shades of blue,
Where I'm never alone with these thoughts.
Where they lie behind every painting
And smiling photos of what we were.
Each brushstroke filled with memories,
Each smile, a sad tear that slips from the eyes brimming with happiness.
And I want to be reminded,
I don't want to step out of the blue
And detach myself from this-
So why am I doing this,
Trying to use a brighter tone
When the love I have lifts me into this blue, but I'm sinking?
Why am I cleaning my stained pallet?
The boy's not washing away-
The boy won't wash away.
I'm not trying hard enough to wash him away.
The stains are splattered all over the walls
And the blue I am fighting has reached my soul, to stay there.

-Deepika Ghose